I have been doing some research on what it is that is so called "common" among women that I do, and what about me is down right crazy! I was relieved to realize that much of what I thought was "insecure, crazy, or needy" is really part of what makes many women feel loved, safe, and cared for in a relationship. So after all my research the jury is in:
Men have to tell a woman how they feel about her in order for her to feel secure!
I've combed several websites and the consistency of this message is undeniable. The main cause for this need is rooted in the fact that women use language and expression to manifest their thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and concerns. When we are involved in any of our relationships be it work related, within the context of family, we express our perceptions, thoughts, and feelings both verbally and non-verbally. When we're in a group of friends, rarely do we sit and watch a show, go out for an activity, or even occupy ourselves with something other than the group. We sit (and often in some form of circle) and talk. Why? Because it is a release. We need to give life to some of those whacky things we're feeling and thinking in order for them to do die. The longer the thought, feeling, or perception goes un-expressed, the stronger it gets. And if women know anything, some of those thoughts, feelings, and perceptions can't get too strong or they will ruin something in our lives.
Having said that. I think one major mis-communication between men and women - is what it is we actually want you to say to us! Everyone knows that most of the things expressed by women are just that - expressions. If you're wondering how decipher "just talk" to more serious issues - pay attention to what she repeats over and over and over and over. At that point she isn't just talking to you......she's warning you!
Here are a few common phrases I found that women respond to the most in order to feel secure. If you're wondering or wanting a woman to feel loved, respected, and desired by you, check these out:
I think you're beautiful.
You can tell me, I'm listening.
It's going to be alright.
What can I do to help?
I love you.
Contrary to what many men think are the things women want to hear, these simple five phrases will make a woman gush with love and feel totally secure that you are into her. For many, it doesn't take flowers on the job once a month (although flowers are ALWAYS nice to receive), or an expensive vacation, or jewelry. Each of these things are nice on occasion but as women we understand that they are not the norm. What I believe each woman is looking for from the man she is involved with are the sentiments that are expressed in these statements.
Let me break them down for you, in the same order presented above:
"Ok good, so he's satisfied with me and desires me, I don't have to worry that he'll be unfaithful! *sigh of relief*"
"He wants to know what I am thinking or feeling right now. Thank God! I was getting ready to burst and he has saved the day!"
"I'm scared shitless...but I won't cowar, after all, my man has my back!"
"My man understands how difficult life can be for me sometimes, when he just asked me if he could help, even though I may not take him up on it, he just showed me that I'm not out here alone"
"Love is more superior than any other thing in this world - it's what fuels me, now that he has told me he loves me, I feel stronger than I ever have because I know with his love I can do anything!"
So you see fellas, it isn't that we want you to quote Shakespeare or write us love songs...we can see that those sentiments are as contrived as you can. It's what you're saying to us when the spotlight isn't on, in those quiet moments that we give to you, that make us feel secure. Hopefully, by now you know, a secure woman will go out, conquer the world, and bring it back to you to for you to enjoy the spoils!
After all, isn't that what Eve was doing wandering in the garden in the first place?
No comments:
Post a Comment