Give Your Ex – To the Next!

Every relationship is not the one. In fact, people have more “ex’s” than they have lasting relationships. When we have tried to work things out with a person and for whatever reason our efforts fail, we move on. Many of us are lucky and mature enough to maintain friendships with those we were once intimately involved with. But what role do they fill in your lives after the break-up? Is it a casual relationship where you keep in touch only periodically? Are you still having sex? Do you have them around as a “friend” hoping that the relationship will mysteriously be re-ignited? Is he/she there to remind you of when someone loved you, or is it because you genuinely like the person you got involved with? Did you decide that having their friendship is more important than losing them all together? If so, have you decided to introduce them to someone else? Have you entertained the idea of introducing them to another one of your friends? Sound crazy? Why?
There is nothing like the present; or better yet, the pre-sent! Many people talk about baggage, how it keeps them from being able to move on. Then on the other hand they have these ex’s lingering in their lives for a variety of reasons. You wonder why you’re still single but I bet there are at least three people in your “circle of friends” that you once slept with, or engaged in some kind of relationship with. If the feelings are no longer there why won’t you share that person with someone else; someone they may really like, and enjoy an exciting relationship with? Could it be your ego? Is it pride? Or is it just downright selfishness?
There is nothing more annoying than “cold dating”. By “cold dating” I mean someone takes a look at you, sees something they like and then approaches. There really is no other introduction than “hey I like the way you look, maybe we can go out sometime”. After that, you have to get to know them, find out what their crazy is, and hope for the best. You have no-one to refer to about this person’s character, no-one who this person will ultimately feel accountable to regarding their behavior while dating you, and certainly no-one to provide you with the “details” of why this person may be compatible to you. And finally, if you’re thinking such and such was an asshole to you and you don’t want them to do that to the other – ponder this: they did what you allowed, period. The next person may not allow what you did, or may have different standards and expectations. Every relationship is different.
Some will say they don’t want to get involved with a friend’s ex because they don’t want “sloppy seconds” or they worry about being “played”. I say that is simply fear masked as pride. There may be a lot of “fish in the sea” but there certainly are not a lot of “great catches”! Part of evolving is letting the past be buried with everything else that is dead, and moving on to the pre-sent! This may involve giving that up that ex to another man or woman and wishing them the best. After all, if you really think of this person as a friend, why not try to make them happy – introduce them to someone that could possibly do what you couldn’t do!
You say you have self-esteem, you say you are comfortable with yourself, you say you have moved on, you say you are grown….so if you are all those things…..
Give Your Ex to the Next!